In my last blog post, I discussed how remaining present, even in the face of pain, is part of our spiritual awakening. Our task is to become wholehearted participants in life, and that means increasing our capacity to be with what is.
However, what I neglected to mention was that our practice of being present, mindful, and aware is only half of the path. It is only one wing of our spiritual awakening, and as you might imagine, a bird with only one wing simply spins in circles, going absolutely nowhere.
If one wing of our spiritual awakening is our attention, the second wing is our intention. And we must ensure that our intention is infused with kindness, compassion, and love.
Without this second wing, we are lost. Unfortunately, far too many people have forgotten about this second wing, but it will serve us greatly to remember it.
Not How Often, But How Tenderly
During our meditation practice, we are often instructed to focus on the breath, redirecting our attention back to it whenever our mind wanders. As my Vipassana meditation teacher instructed, “A hundred, or a thousand, or ten thousand times, you must bring your attention back to your breath.”
But this disciplined approach comes from the head, not the heart. It chisels away at our awareness and lacks any compassion for the struggles people experience in meditation.
The Buddha knew this too, which is why he instructed his disciples to “love yourself and watch.” Many people are so focused on watching their mind, but they forget that loving yourself comes first.
Our solution, then, is to not only be mindful, but to be both mindful and compassionate. I was reminded of this in a recent episode of the Learn to Love podcast, when my guest, Victoria Brattini, expressed how important is it to go easy on yourself:
“Being a good meditator is not about how often your mind wanders, but how tenderly and lovingly you bring it back.”
It should come as no surprise then that while mindfulness may be associated with less stress and more productivity, mindful self-compassion is connected to happiness, resiliency, and caring personal relationships.
Coming Home to Our Compassion
I’ve previously written that when we sanitize and secularize spiritual practices, they lose their impact. Our task, therefore, is to always keep the heart in mind, to always remember the interconnectedness and interdependence of all beings.
If you are struggling with your practice, ask yourself, “How can I love myself more? How can I accept myself for who I am? How can I open my heart today?”
These questions will prevent us from veering too far towards the endless self-criticism and judgement that we are not doing enough, that there is something wrong with who we are.
Remember to put yourself in the spiritual path of love, which is the reason we are here in the first place. With both wings working together, we will reach heights we never imagined even in our wildest dreams.
